Mastermind Magic - Finding the Sisterhood I Needed In My Life

In July 2018, I was one-and-a-half years into owning and managing the Stein-Conaway Law Firm. I was proud that I had created a heart-centered business, focused on helping adults accused of crimes in San Luis Obispo County protect themselves and their futures. Being with people in the hardest times of their lives, seeing them fully, and providing them with strong, committed and compassionate legal representation felt deeply satisfying and meaningful.

During this time, I read Lori Harder’s, A Tribe Called Bliss: Break Through Superficial Friendships, Create Real Connections, Reach Your Highest Potential. I realized that despite having a deeply satisfying career and a wonderful family, there was something missing in my life of which I had not previously been aware.

I longed for a safe place where I could be seen, where I could be heard, where I could be completely myself, where I could open up freely and where I could connect deeply. I spent a great deal of time in my professional life supporting my clients, being there for them, advocating for them and problem-solving with them. I realized that satisfying connections with clients were not an adequate substitute for being in deep and meaningful relationships with my peers.

I found that over the course of the past seven years, since I became a mother, I had deep and meaningful relationships with friends, but most of my friends were in the same stage of life as me, with demanding careers and small children. On the occasions that we spent time with each other—and that there was miraculously enough quiet to get to talk with one another—it was wonderful. But, those occasions were few and far between, and they were certainly not something that I felt like I could count on.

Not knowing when I would have another opportunity to connect deeply with a friend left me feeling lonely. So, when I read A Tribe Called Bliss, I realized this loneliness was a longing for a group of like-minded women I could count on and who could count on me. I knew I wanted to be part of a group that was committed to supporting one another on a regular basis. That consistency was important so that each of us could count on that time together, so we could form strong bonds with one another in a mutually beneficial, giving relationship. I held this new knowing in my heart and started thinking about the ways I could create this in my life.

As a lawyer, as a business owner, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, and as a human who also needs my own downtime to recharge, where was I going to find the time to build a tribe? I realized I needed to do it for myself, because without creating this space where I could both give and receive support with other women who were my peers, I wasn’t going to be the best lawyer, the best business owner, the best mother, the best wife, the best daughter or the best version of myself. I decided that building a tribe was going to be a priority in my life.

One big step I took on my journey to create a tribe was to join a local chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO). When the Central Coast NAWBO Chapter announced that it was offering an opportunity to join a mastermind group, I signed up right away. The mastermind coordinators asked us to fill out a questionnaire about our businesses, our interests, and in what areas we were looking to grow. I was matched with four other business owners whose interests and goals were similar to my own.

I facilitated our first meeting and asked everyone to share the reasons why they wanted to be in the group and what they hoped to gain from participating. At that meeting, I learned that other members’ desires were much the same as mine.

Collectively, we expressed a desire to have connection with other women and to create a safe place where we can share our knowledge, insights, and resources with one another so that we can create the businesses and lives that we really want. We all wanted to elevate our lives and our businesses, and we wanted to rise together. This sharing of our intentions set the tone for our group and the meetings that would follow.

Although our mastermind group is still newly formed, having started our meetings in March 2019, the reward of being in supportive relationships with these women is something truly amazing. Often, I leave our meetings feeling like I am floating on magical energy, energy generated by having a safe place and a sounding board, and by connecting deeply with these women who are now my sisters.

I get to spend two hours, twice a month, with these amazing women because we have chosen to dedicate this time to supporting ourselves and supporting one another.

At our most recent meeting, I was inspired by the bravery I saw as my sister gave words to a vision for her life that fully aligned with her core values and with her soul’s essence. I was in awe of the beauty of giving and receiving that unfolded as one sister shared an idea that she knew would deliver another sister into a new level of peace and abundance. I was invigorated by a sister who boldly declared her goals with such specificity that I could see what she had spoken coming to fruition even sooner than the dates she was setting for herself.

Her clarity and commitment inspired me to become clearer with my own goals. In voicing my goals for the end of 2019 and into 2020, I was reminded by my sisters just how far I have already come. I was acknowledged, seen, loved, and encouraged to keep trusting myself and my inner knowing. They saw my dreams and were dreaming right along with me.

I am so grateful that I said yes to this opportunity when it presented itself and that I went all in. I am living a more beautiful life today because I know I can count on these women and this dedicated time we spend in service to ourselves and in support of one another. With my whole heart, I want these women to experience success in business and in their lives beyond even what they have dreamed of. I am honored to share this precious life with them, and I am grateful to be a part of supporting them as they bring their gifts into the world.

I believe that we are here on this earth together because we are meant to be here for one another. If you do not already have this kind of support in your life and you want it, I encourage you to seek it out. Create it for yourself. My sisters were waiting for me. I know your sisters or brothers are waiting for you, too.

Are you ready to create your tribe?

If you feel like you could use some help with how to go about creating a tribe for yourself, or if you are just curious to learn whether this is something you’re interested in, Lori Harder’s book is a great place to start. For me, reading A Tribe Called Bliss opened up my mind and my heart to the possibility that this was something I wanted. Once I recognized what I was looking for, it was easy to say yes to the opportunities that unfolded before me. I’m not paid to promote NAWBO, and I’m not paid to promote Lori Harder. When a person or an organization has created valuable resources, I want to share what has been meaningful for me, because perhaps it will be valuable for you, too.

I fully believe that when we are taking care of ourselves, our families, and those we love, it’s from that space that we contribute most meaningfully to the world and to the lives of our clients. It’s a win-win.

This article was originally published in the San Luis Obispo Bar Bulletin