Decide to Love Your Breastfeeding Body

In Episode 9 of The Business Mamas Podcast, I introduced a Framework for Enhanced Well-Being - Focus on Beliefs, Relationships & Making Heart-Guided Decisions. By using this framework, I have been able to unlock the incredible peace that comes with being present in my work, with my kids, and in other aspects of my life. I know you're ready to welcome that peace into your life as well. When you have empowering beliefs, and empowering relationships with yourself and others, you are setting yourself up to value yourself, to know your truth, and then to honor yourself and your truth by making heart-guided decisions.

Today, I want to talk with you about making the heart-guided decision to bravely and unapologetically love your breastfeeding, or post-breastfeeding mama body.

This is the story of my transition from appreciation, but some criticism for my pre-childbirth body, to having total reverence for my post-childbirth body, and especially how breastfeeding helped me develop that reverence. This is a story of surviving and then later thriving with breastfeeding.

Early Days and Weeks of Breastfeeding is Really Hard

The first weeks of breastfeeding my first child, Jackson, was an all hands on deck experience. He was squirmy, and in the beginning, my mom and my husband had to baby handle him into the right position so that I could then use both of my hands to manipulate my breast into a position that could result in Jackson latching on and actually drinking milk. It was quite an adventure. One thing I also learned was that if he didn't drink the milk that I was producing, my breast then clogged with milk. That was awful, and in those early days, that was happening a lot.

The experienced mother tip that I learned to do effectively with baby number two was that I could use a pump to empty my breast when the baby didn't have the appetite to empty it. Surviving those early days with raw nipples, clogged ducts, and a baby who could only get into the right position to nurse with two assistants and a mountain of pillows was not that much fun.

Plus, his moderate light appetite for milk as a newborn resulted in my milk supply slowing down. So as he got bigger, and actually wanted to drink more milk, my body couldn't keep up with the pace he was increasing his desire for milk at. So, at about four months old, we started giving him formula in addition to breast milk. I remember being in a breastfeeding support group around this time, and the teacher suggested I wake myself and him up in the middle of the night to feed. She said that it would trigger my body to produce more milk. Although well intentioned, I was not going to follow that advice. Having both myself and my four-month old baby actually sleep felt far more important to me than the benefits of exclusively feeding him breast milk. I was glad to be empowered with education about my options, and I was empowered to make the choice that was right for me. The choice that I made was that both of us kept sleeping through the night. When Cameron, baby number two was born, I pumped when he was a newborn, and I taught my body to produce more milk. With my freezer stash of milk, and my body producing more milk, I was able to avoid the need for formula with him, which I knew was optimal. We were able to do it without either of us sacrificing precious sleep.

Breastfeeding as a Cherished Pause and Time for Connection

Once I got the hang of breastfeeding with both of my boys, it became a time that I completely cherished with each of them. It was a time of snuggling connection, and I was totally in awe that my body was producing exactly what they needed, even if I did need a little bit of help from formula sometimes. My body was amazing me.

The Sacrifice and the Joy of Pumping

With both of my boys, I went back to work when they were little, so I was connected to my breast pump every three hours. That was a lot of pumping. When I was pumping, I was usually working at my computer. When I was pumping, I would get waves of emotion that would hit me. I missed my baby. By being engaged in the act of expelling milk from my body when my baby wasn't there, those feelings of missing my baby were stirred up. On more than one occasion, I remember being in court and feeling that I had surpassed the three hour mark, and that if I didn't get back to my office and get connected to my pump soon, there was going to be milk everywhere. With both of my boys, I kept pumping until they were about 15 months old, and we kept breastfeeding until age two with my first son and almost age three with my second son.

Breastfeeding & Pumping Was a Huge Part of My Life

Breastfeeding and pumping was a big part of my life for those years. I appreciated how amazing my body was to be able to support and nourish my babies and toddlers in that way. A post baby body is the best squishy pillow. My babies snuggled up to my squishy body while breastfeeding and also just to be held. The squishiness of my body just made the perfect cushion for snuggling my babies.

Long After the Breastfeeding Snuggles Have Ended, the Snuggles Remain

Even now, long after our breastfeeding days have ended, my body is still the perfect squishy cushion for snuggling my boys. Cameron still tells me I love you because you're squishy. I love me because I'm squishy too! No matter how fit I get, I will always be a squishy pillow for my boys.

How Missing Yoga Taught Me How to Give My Own Body Love

Now, I want to tell you a story about how missing yoga taught me that I get to give my own body love. When I had just started back at working after having Jackson, I tried to attend a yoga class. I pumped early, I worked diligently. I left my office with what I thought was ample time. When I arrived at the yoga studio, the parking lot situation was not pleasant. After realizing there were no spots in the lot, I went to the street and patiently waited behind a car that looked like it was leaving. Then just as I was going to pull into the spot after waiting for several minutes, another car drove up and took the spot. I'd like to think that person didn't see me waiting. I went and found another spot and by the time I'd stepped into the studio, I was told the class had started and that I could not come in late.

I was devastated.

I was angry.

I was so mad that this one thing that I had worked so hard to do to take care of myself was not happening.

I realized then, that trying to get to any yoga class, or any fitness class, given how much I had on my plate was not the right thing for me to do at this point in my life. So, I figured out a new system for exercising, which turned out to be exercising in the mornings before anyone else woke up.

I also realized that I didn't need to be in a room with other yogis to practice breathing, and appreciating my body. I started giving myself that love, consciously and consistently.

Here are some questions I would love for you to ask yourself:

1) Is there something about your body that you can appreciate on a daily basis?

If you're breastfeeding, seriously, take the time to take in the pure magic of what your body is doing. If you're not breastfeeding, find something else amazing about your body that you can appreciate.

2) Can you speak kindly about your body and model that talk for your kids?

Although I sometimes finish working out in the mornings before anyone is awake, when my kids wake up early and come hang out with me as I exercise, I am mindful of my words. The type of things that I say are:

Wow, that was hard, and I did it!

I can do hard things!

3) Can you think about what you put in your body from a place of self-love, rather than a place of self-deprivation?

Instead of telling yourself you can't have the Twinkie because it will make you fat, can you tell yourself, you can have the kale because it will give you energy and nutrients that make your mind and your body strong?

Seriously, Mama, your body is totally magical, and 100% amazing. Love your body, Mama!

If you enjoyed Episode 23 and this blog post, I would love it if you shared the blog or the podcast with someone you think could benefit from them. I would also be incredibly grateful if you could leave an honest rating and review of The Business Mamas Podcast on Apple Podcasts as that helps more people find the show and it helps me in sharing this message of practicing self-love and self-care with more people whose lives I know could be enriched by hearing it. Sign up to download my Morning Routine Guide and receive my email newsletter at The Business Mamas Podcast.

Kara Stein-Conaway, is the host of the Business Mamas Podcast, self-love advocate, lawyer, and mama of two. The Business Mamas Podcast is made for women who know they should be doing more self-care, and practicing more self-love, but are overrun with balancing at all. This podcast provides the tools and support you need, so you can have a successful career, while also being a present and loving mom. Until next time and with gratitude, Kara Stein-Conaway, @karasteinconaway on Instagram.